iPhone launched in 2007, almost 11 years ago and after all those years, who knows what iPhone is for? Stupid question, right? It’s, uh, um… a cellphone. And, it’s a camera. And, it’s a game computer, a personal computer, and a way to stay in touch or communicate with anyone on earth via text messaging, FaceTime and Skype, Facebook and Instagram, and the number one method humans choose to implement the dopamine effect.
Like, Duh! already. But wait. There’s more.
Enter the power of headline editing. Damon Beres first lamented:
3 years later, who knows what the Apple Watch is for?
I do! I do! Let me guess! Let me guess!
Then, thanks to the editable nature of the interwebs, a dumb question became a dumb statement.
The Apple Watch turns 3, and it’s still flawed
Like, Duh! already.
By nature, all software and hardware is flawed. Flaws are in the eye of the beholder and Watch is no different than iPhone which is no different than Mac which is no different than St. Paul. Flaws are flaws. They’re everywhere. People will pay good money for devices with fewer flaws and an improved user experience.
Apple Watch, at conception, was a very personal response to an already very personal computer– the iPhone, which you can use during a potluck or after 50 sit-ups or whenever, really.
OK. I use it as a watch, a timer, an alarm system, a notification system, a health tracker, an exercise tracker, for directions, and to communicate– via a built-in LTE phone which does not require my iPhone. Yet, I admit Watch is an accessory to iPhone.
The smartphone made personal computers and the internet ubiquitous, but it also moved them into social life, creating millions of invisible barriers between people that never existed before. Perhaps something smaller, with a series of subtly actionable notifications that only alert the human wearing the device, could in some way solve the problems we hadn’t anticipated from the iPhone.
Translation: Humans like their smartphones and being connected to the internet.
This is what happens when someone gets paid by the word. On a slow news day. For an online publication that specializes in generalities.
But the Apple Watch doesn’t solve these problems.
What problems? List them, for God’s sake. My iPhone does not solve problems, either, but it makes life better because of the aforementioned utility way up there in my first paragraph.
Truthfully, I’ve always been suspicious of wearables, for a fairly self-evident reason: Their pitch is to solve data overload by more or less re-contextualizing that data, without meaningfully changing much in the process.
OK, what’s wrong with that? Watch is an accessory to iPhone. It doesn’t solve the time travel problem, but it tells time and does an increasingly growing number of tasks– many automatically– that require fishing around in a pocket, bag, or purse to accomplish with iPhone by itself. What the hell is wrong with that? That’s good, right?
Watch tells time, looks nice, and gives me information without me giving up much effort. I like that.
By virtue of the device being strapped onto your wrist, the chances for unwanted technological interjection are quite a bit higher than they are with a phone in your pocket, or in another room.
Trim your alerts and alarms, dude. Pruning is good for the soul. Prunes, too. You control Watch. And iPhone. Don’t let them do everything and they won’t control you.
You hear me, right? Avoid constipated writing.
One could argue that Apple needs to rethink what the Watch is capable of. The fanboys will crucify me for saying so, but maybe reducing functionality would be a step in the right direction — perhaps we don’t need the full, iOS-like iMessage experience on our wrists, for example, though I could only guess at what the right replacement would be.
One could argue that all a Watch owner needs to do is what an iPhone user needs to do which is what a Mac user needs to do. Control what you want and expect the devices to do for you. If you have 50 apps on your iPhone and each has a Watch app then it’s likely you don’t need all 50 apps tossing alerts, alarms, and notifications in your face all day long.
Prune, dude. Prune.
Or, less subtly because Beres’ missive took way too long to reach an obvious conclusion, prunes.