Onion-like piece from Christopher Lamb:
President-Elect Donald J. Trump announced his cabinet on Wednesday. Trump, who won the presidency by defeating Democrat Hillary Clinton, said he wanted to have a cabinet of people who thought and acted like he did.
Attorney General: Jeff Sessions
Trump said that the U.S. senator from Alabama and he “have a similar thought process.” Before Sessions became a senator he was nominated to be a U.S. district court judge. The Senate rejected him because of a long and disturbing history of racism, including praising the Ku Klux Klan, calling a black U.S. attorney “boy” and the NAACP “un-American.”
Secretary of Education: Bill Cosby, Ed.D.
Cosby, an award-winning comedian, actor, and author, has a doctorate in education. He will face trial next year for sexual assault. More than 50 women have accused him of sexual misconduct.
Secretary of Defense: Rudy Giuliani
Giuliani and Trump agree that America used to be a great country until it started electing black presidents and that war is the answer, regardless of the question. Like Giuliani, Trump went to great lengths to avoid serving in the Vietnam War and is contemptuous of anyone who serves in the military. Trump, for his part, believes that Arizona Sen. John McCain is a slacker for spending the war as a POW.
Secretary of Homeland Security: Joe Arpaio
Trump has praised the sheriff of Maricopa County Arizona, who will stop of nothing – not even the U.S. Constitution— to detain Mexicans, regardless of whether they are in the United States legally.