You may be surprised to hear this, but Apple plans to introduce a bunch of new and upgraded products over the next year. What? Can that be true? Everyone else is predicting an iPad mini, Retina display iMacs, and a new iPhone with built-in magic, a female HAL 9000 assistant, and TARDIS-like time and space manipulation, so I thought to myself, ‘Hey, I can do that, too!‘
What can we expect from Apple the rest of the year?
This is a no-brainer. How about new iMacs with a Retina display? It’s coming and you know you want it. You really do. That’s the beauty of being affected by Apple’s Reality Distortion Field. You want what you think you need, even if you don’t need it, or it doesn’t make any sense to have it.
I predict new iMacs with at least one model blessed with a gargantuan Retina display, and a faster CPU, and better bells and whistles (because, well, you know, last year’s bells and whistles are so 1999).
Can you say iPhone 5? If Apple keeps the tradition of number, then number and letter, then number again, the new iPhone for 2012 will be called iPhone 5. See, we had iPhone 3G, then 3GS, then iPhone 4, then iPhone 4S, so the good money is on iPhone 5 running iOS 6. Honestly, I have no idea how that got out of sync, but I’d blame the alphabet.
Can you say iPad mini? Why does Apple need to have a 7-inch iPad? To compete against all the other iPad-killer wannabe tablets (Kindle Fire, Nook, Google Nexus, and… I’m sure there are others available, but no one has seen them in the wild). This cool new iPad will feature a 7.8-inch screen with a 1024 x 768 non-Retina display and be priced at $199.
Nah. Just kidding. $299.
When will Apple hire enough engineers so the company can design, build, and launch a new MacPro? To say the current MacPro’s aluminum clad design is long in the tooth is to say that Madonna still looks good after all these years (don’t look at her face unless you’re wearing protective eye covering). Yes, Mac power folk, Apple will have an upgraded MacPro sometime in the next year. Even CEO Tim Cook says it will happen.
Alright, those on my list are pretty much givens, right? But I’d settle for some Glass-like glasses that project onto the lenses information straight from my iPhone, and let me manage the iPhone’s interface with Siri. Or, it’d be cool to have some way to pay for what I buy in a store just by walking by the checkout counter and smiling like a shoplifter does to the security guard on the way out of the store.
The truth of the matter is this. Only Apple knows what’s coming, and any guesses we in the pundit factory manufacture are just that. Manufactured guesses. Every now and again we’re able to publish an educated guess.
How about this one? Bill Gates says Apple will build a Microsoft Surface-like notebook with a keyboard. Uh huh. Sure. Hey, Bill. Have you tried using Siri? Have you seen how many iPads Apple sold without a keyboard? How many tablets has anyone else sold ever that also have a keyboard? Or, a stylus? 1993 called and they want Windows NT back.
So, for you dearest reader, what do you expect Apple to ship in the next year?