Does John Dvorak know how to make sense, or what? Here’s John’s obsession with the obsessive love of all things smart phone. The latest trend? Talking about smart phone hardware.

The trend is horrid, but it’s not it’s not the trend that bothers me. What annoys me is the fact that there is little talk about anything other than hardware features. People talk about the screen, the keyboard, the On and Off button, the layout of the icons, etc. etc. Nobody ever talks about the lame applications. Wait, did I say “lame?” Actually, maybe that’s the reason.

Wait a minute. Do iPhone users talk about their hardware or their apps.

The phone itself is the killer app. Yes, I can make a call. That’s sort of why I have a mobile phone in the first place. So, why do I need an iPhone again? The primary reason to get one is for random Web browsing (which iPhone owners generally do to show off the fact that they can browse the Web on their handset) or time-wasting.

Hey, John. 1983 called. They want you to come back home.

And when people are not too busy needlessly chattering on the phone, they’re sending messages to all of their friends for no apparent reason. Every so often there’s a TV story about some idiot who racked up an absurd bill by sending 10,000 text messages in one month. How is that even possible?

It happens to unemployed technology pundits, John. It should happen to you.

Cell phones are ruining the country. The economy has tanked in proportion to the growing popularity of the iPhone. This is no coincidence, as far as I’m concerned. Look around you. See how people are wasting time on their phones and in general. We need to refocus on the desktop computer, a device that did indeed improve productivity. We need to stop looking at, talking about, and reviewing these phones. In fact, let’s just stop using them!

Sigh.