What’s the right name for Apple’s tablet?

I’ve been thinking about this for a few years. What’s the right name for Apple’s sure-to-be-announced tablet device? Is it a Mac? Is it an overgrown iPod touch? If it’s neither, should it be named something non-Mac? How about dropping the whole iThing altogether?

What’s In A Name?

Gadget names are important. The right name can endear a product to the customer. The wrong name won’t stick. Apple hit a home run with the iMac, but, clearly, that whole iThing naming scheme has gone too far.

iLife works. iWork is acceptable. But iTunes no longer fits what iTunes or the iTunes store does.

Apple seemed to be obligated to attach an ‘i’ to everything after the success of the iPod and iTunes Store. iPhone. iPod touch. Sure, they’re recognizable brands, but enough already. I’m iTired of it.

Naming Apple’s Tablet

No one seems to have a handle on Apple’s name for the tablet device, other than it probably will continue the iTradition. Will it be an iTablet? There’s something archaic about tablet in the name. It makes me think of Charlton Heston as Moses bringing the 10 Commandments down the mountainside.

How about iSlate? After all, Apple is reported to own the domain name. Slate is distinct. If it were not for all those Windows devices already named Slate.

How about Mac touch? There’s no way this device will use the name Mac anything. Despite the Mac’s popularity and brand value, attaching it to something other than a real Mac model is asking for trouble. The Mac name is divisive. iPhone and iPod are not.

How about iPad? That sounds better, no? It’s like a legal pad, or a writing pad. Thin. Lightweight. iPad fits with Apple’s iEverything legacy, and it’s descriptive. However, I’m ruling it out because the image changes dramatically when you think of iPad as being a feminine hygiene product, as evidenced by this MadTV video clip.

So, no Mac touch, or iTablet, or iSlate, or iPad? What then? iTouch?

Apple’s iDevice is Touch

My track record for predicting Apple product announcements is 50-50. Half the time I’m not correct. The other half I’m completely wrong. What would I name Apple’s tablet?

First, look at what it is and how it does what it does. It’s a pad. It has a multi-touch screen. Therefore, it’s a touch pad. Or, TouchPad. It’s touch. It’s a pad. It’s descriptive. It fits.

I would accept Close Enough Honors™ with iPad touch, or even iTouch Pad, but I hope Apple’s days of iEverything are over. Let’s go with Touch Pad, OK?

No. Wait.

That sounds too much like douche bag.

Yeeesh. Now Touch Pad is contaminated, too.