The Stupidest Name Ever For An Apple Product

Apple rumor mongering is a frightful disease. It breeds among the Apple faithful but the worst symptoms are displayed within stricken tech pundits. The latest example of what the disease can do to the imagination is Apple TV.

According to the powers that be that are not really powers at all, Apple’s new product won’t be an iTV (that name is already taken), or Apple TV (that name is already taken, and it’s available for $99), but… wait for it… iPanel.

If Apple can’t use iTV (Apple hasn’t said) and won’t use Apple TV (because they’re already using it), what would the company call their already famous entry into television?

iPanel? Really?

Look, I was one of the first to decry the phrase iPad because it reminded me of a feminine hygiene product. MaxiPad would have been worse than iPad, but no one remembers the obvious connection between Apple’s trend setting wireless tablet device and a product a boyfriend or husband is reluctant to buy for girlfriend or wife.

iPad works.

iPanel does not.

Panel? That smacks of something you’d buy at Lowes or Home Depot, but not the latest gadget to stand in line to buy at an Apple store.

What would iPanel do? Some analysts say it does TV, games, media, computer, home automation, and more. My iPad does that already.

Sure, television watchers are going to plunk down $1,000 to $2,000 for a big screen TV that does what big screen TVs do already? And, worse, Apple is going to top off the package by giving it an Edsel-like name?

I don’t think so.

Apple may very well bring a new kind of expensive television to the masses, but using the stupidest name ever for an Apple gadget (alright, maybe not quite as stupid as Pippin, but Apple was smart enough even back then to drop that hot potato monicker) isn’t the kind of mistake the maker of Mac, iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie, iPod, iPhone, and iPad is likely to make.

iTV? Apple could buy that name and pay big money and never notice the dent in the bank account.

How about iScreen? iView? iWindow? See? iPanel doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?

Comments

  1. Bradley Dichter says:

    Why can’t Apple reuse “Apple TV?” The current model is known as the 3rd generation, just like the “new iPad” is known as the iPad (3rd Generation)
    So they just call the new device the AppleTV 4th Generation. There will probably be sub-titles denoting the screen size, like Apple TV 42″ Apple does that kind of thing with the iMac. They reuse the name which can be confusing until you notice the sub-titles.

  2. Pippin was probably a decent name. What it needed was a decent product, which Pippin was not. Apple was wise not to bring it into the U.S.

    iPanel is a pretty stupid name for a multi-entertainment screen. That would be thinking different. I think they’ll stick with Apple TV.

    The only problem I have with an Apple television is this. What will it do that’s different than other TVs already on the market?

  3. I don’t iPanel is that bad. When I first heard I was like thats stupid. Just like when the iPad name was announced. But its not too bad if you think about it. I would rather see iTV, but there is a reason Apple renamed Apple TV from iTV in its beta stage. Either they were legally threatened or they have other plans for the iTV name. But all in all I don’t think iPanel is that bad, it may do more than just a TV.

  4. Benny and the Jets says:

    Come on, iPanel is a crummy name. “Panel?” Seriously? I bet it’s one of those secret code names that Apple uses internally so they can track whoever leaks information.

    iPanel cannot be the name of an Apple product that anyone will stand in line to buy.

    iScreen? iWide? iPortal? But not iPanel. I think they’ll just stick with Apple TV since everyone can figure out what it is right away.