Apple rumor mongering is a frightful disease. It breeds among the Apple faithful but the worst symptoms are displayed within stricken tech pundits. The latest example of what the disease can do to the imagination is Apple TV.
According to the powers that be that are not really powers at all, Apple’s new product won’t be an iTV (that name is already taken), or Apple TV (that name is already taken, and it’s available for $99), but… wait for it… iPanel.
If Apple can’t use iTV (Apple hasn’t said) and won’t use Apple TV (because they’re already using it), what would the company call their already famous entry into television?
Look, I was one of the first to decry the phrase iPad because it reminded me of a feminine hygiene product. MaxiPad would have been worse than iPad, but no one remembers the obvious connection between Apple’s trend setting wireless tablet device and a product a boyfriend or husband is reluctant to buy for girlfriend or wife.
iPanel does not.
Panel? That smacks of something you’d buy at Lowes or Home Depot, but not the latest gadget to stand in line to buy at an Apple store.
What would iPanel do? Some analysts say it does TV, games, media, computer, home automation, and more. My iPad does that already.
Sure, television watchers are going to plunk down $1,000 to $2,000 for a big screen TV that does what big screen TVs do already? And, worse, Apple is going to top off the package by giving it an Edsel-like name?
I don’t think so.
Apple may very well bring a new kind of expensive television to the masses, but using the stupidest name ever for an Apple gadget (alright, maybe not quite as stupid as Pippin, but Apple was smart enough even back then to drop that hot potato monicker) isn’t the kind of mistake the maker of Mac, iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie, iPod, iPhone, and iPad is likely to make.
iTV? Apple could buy that name and pay big money and never notice the dent in the bank account.
How about iScreen? iView? iWindow? See? iPanel doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?