I don’t understand why this news event wasn’t covered on Fox News. What Sarah Palin hath wrought:
Speaking unto an audience of anti-immigration advocates, global-warming deniers, and members of the Tea Party Nation, former Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave forth utterances Monday that reportedly opened the sixth seal of the Book of the Apocalypse.
And:
“Small town folks—the folks who grow our food, run our small businesses, and teach our kids—are getting pretty riled up by President Obama’s big socialist ideas,” Palin spoke as the stage upon which she stood was rent apart by an unseen hand, opening as unto a great chasm, whose gaping void she narrowly escaped by clinging to the podium.
And finally:
Chaos and disorder then spread across hill and valley to every corner of the earth, eyewitnesses reported, and as the minions of the Antichrist prepared for their millennium of world dominion, even the teeming masses of heathens could not in their hearts deny that the final phase of Armageddon was close at hand, and that you’re darn right Joe Six-Pack pays too many taxes already.